Self-care isn't Selfish

This is going to sound bizarre but sometimes I forget that I live in a body. A body that needs nutrients, balance, sleep, and true rest.

I get so busy with studying, planning and doing things, I forget that I have a body I have to take care of. I have a tendency to completely live in my head.

As a grad student my life is crazy. Busy. Full.  (I imagine many of you have similar situations even if they look a lot different.)

I’m not working out. I’m not eating well. There is little balance to my life. I’m currently coming home from seven hours of classes to spend another four to five hours doing homework or I come home from six hours of work and spend four to five hours watching netflix because I’m just too tired to do anything else. This happens five days a week. Weekends are spent catching up on a neglected house and catching up on neglected family and friends. And more homework. Push repeat for the next week. None of this is good.

At work I hear about drug abuse, poverty, rape. In classes I hear the same thing. Classcism, sexism, racism, hate crimes, abuse, etc.  People do really horrible things. It is hard stuff to hear.

And it can take its toll.   

It is a common idea that social worker burnout rate is incredibly high. I think this is because we deeply examine social problems and see all the work there is to do in the world, and then we go do it. And it is never-ending. This is not just for social workers, but people in other caring professions experience the same thing. In the moment dinner just doesn’t seem quite as important as calling representatives about a discriminatory bill that shouldn’t be passed. Homework gets pushed off because there is a girl struggling with a history of sexual abuse at the clinic. An assignment about immigration reform is due tomorrow and I get caught up in the immense work that needs done and I get three hours of sleep.

I’m starting to realize that advocating for others or empowering others and caring for others will do no good if my body breaks down. I have to start taking care of my body, because it has to last. and no one else is going to do it for me. My brain and my heart (which do all of these 'good things') will only last as long as my body does.

I recently heard a powerful analogy on this topic. When a plane starts to experience turbulence, and the air masks drop down, what does the flight attendant ask you to do? Not to put air masks on as many passengers as you can before you pass out. Not to put the mask on your neighbor before yourself, but to actually put the oxygen mask on yourself and then help the person seated next to you.

It isn’t selfish. It is necessary self-care.

In order to take care of others we HAVE TO practice self-care. Otherwise we will truly be no good to anyone.

And I think this looks differently for all of us. I can't compare myself the next woman who may appear to be superwoman. I can do the best that I can do. It starts today. And I have to find contentment in that.

I want to do the right thing, but sometimes that looks like doing the right thing for me first. And that is ok.